this notion of space

greetings, dear reader . . .this notion of space keeps growing in my mind, taking some provocative twists and turns . . .so i must talk with you about it further . . .

'write into the unknown,' . . . the poet Hermine Meinhard (Bright Turquoise Umbrella, Tupelo Press, 2004) suggested to us last week . . . 'this is a space in which to experiment . . . begin to hear more deeply, learn to write into places that are new and unfamiliar . . . let yourself go without knowing where you are going . . .'

space . . . unknown, unfamiliar . . . often uncomfortable . . . because we don't know where we are going . . . it can be scary to let go into space . . . and for that, many of us never allow it to exist . . . filling our time to the brim, running from one must-do to another, exhausting ourselves in the effort . . .

my daughter lulu's soccer team comes to mind. they had to learn to take advantage of space . . .spread out, use the entire field, embrace the space . . . in order to play as a team . . . it took time, several seasons, in fact. yet once they ceased converging on the ball and began allowing there to be space between players, they realized a new level of ability. It was exhilarating to witness, perhaps because it required trust . . . each player trusting her teammates as well as herself . . . discovering, once in the midst of it, space was not a deep abyss but, in fact, an empowering ally

now when lulu dribbles, she creates space where there appears to be none. exploiting the slightest of cracks between defenders, she dares to push through; she finds opportunity . . .

oscar, lulu's little brother, plays into the tiniest of breaks between defensive players on the basketball court. he trusts there is space there . . . as he dares to go in, he finds more and more . . .

space . . . it begins as potential. . . and can be transformed through courage and determination into so much more . . .

there are so many dimensions in which to consider space . . .
xo
cocoa

just like the 17th century . . .

cocoa here . . . I had the most interesting day yesterday . . .just sitting at my desk . . . it was monday, that moment in the week when I like to pause, reconnect with what I was doing friday afternoon, before I was so abruptly interrupted in order that the weekend begin . . .

so yesterday, a monday . . . I was catching up on a few things . . .including a book recommendation - The Book of the Courtesans: A Catalogue of Their Virtues (Susan Griffon, Broadway Books, 2001). Amazon's image of the book cover looked familiar, sending me to my bookshelf to see if I already owned it . . .

there, instead, I discovered Natalie Zemon Davis' Women on the Margins: Three Seventeenth-Century Lives(Harvard University Press, 1995). flipping through, I read a margin note I'd made many years ago now. . . "idea of paying another to do home chores, a practice of the aristocracy, being used by middle-class women to free up time so they may follow their own inner voice"

echoed in this jot was an historical footnote first brought to my attention in a college seminar; to this day it resonates with me profoundly - and i paraphrase - all progress as far as women's rights and feminism aside, there have been women throughout history who have not allowed cultural expectations and daily duties to limit them, who have found time and space -- even if it meant sneaking deep in the night after housework was complete & as family slept -- to pen a poem, birth a novel, allow a watercolor . . . in short to create and not lay silent.

this particular monday, though so many years later, the margin note came to life . . . and here, I must introduce you to millie . . .

millie is a recent addition to our home & an unexpectedly rich one. once a week, she spends from 9.30 in the morning until 7.00 at night placing freshly bleached towels over door saddles so that feet and paws may pause upon entering, scrubbing windows until they glimmer, watering thirsty plants and dusting fan blades and window blinds - all the while lavishing kisses and conversation on our three ever-attentive dogs. by dusk, each wednesday, in our home a lighthearted calm pervades.

I have had help in the house for as long as I can remember . . . millie is different. perhaps it is her compassion; perhaps her grasp of a bigger picture - her earnings go in part to pay another woman, one who cares for millie's house and dog back home. millie understands what she provides; her presence frees me.

released to my creative space, I am able to explore the metes and bounds of what I have to say and how I want to say it. one may argue that today most professionals delegate domestic maintenance while they go to the office . . .and this is true. what I speak of is a little different and perhaps not different at all . . . I am not going to an office. much of the time, I do not even get paid for what I do. millie is a part of our world due to my conscious decision to make space in order that i may speak . . .

and I have found, now that I am in that space, a boundless world to explore, one that grows richer each day I come to the page . . . I understand how fortunate I am. I also know being here is the product of many difficult, sometimes scary, other times seemingly ridiculous choices or impossible, even painful steps . . . i didn't end up here by luck. it was an act of courage; it is why Davis felt so compelled to illuminate the lives of these 17th-century women - individuals who "illustrate the significance of writing and language for self-discovery, moral exploration and . . .discovery of others" (pp.64-5) . . . proof that each time we tuck into a sketch before bed or steal early morning moments to transcribe a poem, we are part of a lineage dating back far earlier than the 1600's - of those who have moved according to their own rhythms, allowing convention to fall to the shadows in order that they may speak.

until next time . . . happy musings xo

may i introduce . . .

hi . . . i'd like to introduce myself. my name is cocoalulu (actually, colette elizabeth) . . . you can call me cocoa . . . or lulu, depending on the moment and who you are

welcome to my world . . . an oasis, i like to think . . . a place where one comes to consider . . . anything and eventually perhaps almost everything . . .

my musings usually begin with an everyday incident or observation, yielding most often to matters of style, physical as well as ethereal, and the thrill of discovering substance co-existing with form . . . a sublime, if seemingly rare, intersection

log in for a moment's reprieve and discover all manner of reflections, from the mundane to the academic, from the serious to the silly. in this virtual retreat, dear reader, is space to relinquish stress, consider more fully what lies beneath and reconnect with life's elegance . . .

stay tuned and enjoy . . .

coming soon . . .

cocoalulu . . . an oasis for the mind and spirit . . .stay tuned xo